Annie Oakley for (Vice) President

By Peter Schrag

Anything you can do, she can do better
She can do anything better than you.
No she can’t. Yes she can.
Yes she can, can in Ketchikan

She can shoot a bear from her kitchen chair.
She can dress a moose faster than a goose.

She can live on fish and game.
And only on that? What a dame.

Anything you can be, she can be better
She can be anything better than you.
No she can’t. Yes she can.
Yes she can, can in Ketchikan

She can be the mayor, dance like Fred Astayer,
She can be a super mom
And a pal? What a gal.

Anything she wants, she can get it.
She can get anything she wants.
No she can’t. Yes she can,
Yes she can, can in Ketchikan

Anybody you can can, she can can faster
She can can anybody faster than you
No she can’t. Yes she can
Yes she can can in Ketchikan

Who needs to know the Beltway
Once you’ve been to Skagway?
And how can she be too green
When she’s been a beauty queen?

Anywhere you can drill, she can drill faster
She can drill anywhere faster than you
Through the ice, through the snow, through the floe
She can drill anywhere she wants to go.

No she can’t. Yes she can,
Yes she can, can in Ketchikan.

----With apologies to Irving Berlin

hunt and fish sitting on a floe
With her very own Eskimo.

Yes she can, yes she can in Ketchikan

Peter Schrag is the former editorial page editor of the Sacramento Bee.

Comments

Get Email Updates

Want the California Progress Report by email? Once a week, we'll send you the latest and greatest headlines.