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A Humane Death: A Personal Story of Why California Needs a New Law

By Mary Stompe

Should a terminally ill person have the right to end their life with a doctor’s assistance?

I had reservations about this until I saw firsthand the suffering someone can go through at the end of their life when they have a terminal illness.

No one should have to experience what my father went through during his last month of life.

Diagnosed with terminal Stage 4 esophageal cancer that had metastasized, with no chance of any recovery, he was forced to suffer. A 35-centimeter tumor grew in his esophagus, stopping his ability to eat, drink and swallow.

As his daughter, there was nothing I could do for him.

He was an 80-year old man who led a healthy lifestyle, who was active and never smoked, but his years of acid reflux eventually turned cancerous.

When my father went home to die, I took a leave of absence from my job to be by his side.

He suffered terribly, every day pleading with me to find a way to end his suffering. Desperate to help him, I researched alternatives for him. I learned there was nothing I could do legally to help him but be by his side and comfort him.

His pain intensified and he began to lose a lot of weight. Once a strong man, his body was fading away before my eyes as he lay starving. The intravenous feeding tube was removed because it made him so ill.

Finally, the tumor in his throat burst and he died. Not before he suffered immensely, gasping for air, but unable to breath.

My father, in this case, should have been able to decide how he died –humanely. He knew he wanted to die two weeks before, but he wasn’t allowed to make that choice.

I will never forget him pleading with me to end his life or the way in which he died. It’s a memory that will haunt me forever.

Mary Stompe is the daughter of a Novato man who died of throat cancer and suffered terribly at the end of his life. She has testified in favor of end of life choices.

Posted on May 24, 2007

Comments

I watched my brother and my mother die of painful terrible cancers. My brother begged us to kill him. His whole body suffering the affects of Leukemia a terrible and painful disease. My mother of breast cancer, begging to die in even in hospice care where supposedly they can make you comfortable. That's a lie.

They should have been able to make theirs own decisions rather than die undignifed, inhumane, horribly painful deaths. That memory is burned into my memory forever. They should have had that right before it got to that. We all should. We have a right to die if that is what we choose. No one should have to beg to die. People who are against this have never watched the suffering death of a loved one.

Posted by: Morris1 at May 24, 2007 08:28 AM

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